Final Fantasy Activities
by Kali Kamiya
Summary: Other fun and funny stuff the FFX crew did after the game. Everyone is back! That includes Tidus and Auron. First up: tournament. Now up: cooking show! Tidus bashing in the second part. Co-written between me and Sapphire Dragon.
1. Tournament!

Announcer: Welcome to the FFX tournament! Here are our quarter finalists! All the way from the past and Zanarkand, the hero of our story, star blitzball player for the Zanarkand Abes, and supposedly the boy who shall replace Nick on the Backstreet Boys, please welcome Tidus!  
  
Tidus: *walks into arena waving* Hey! Thank you! And I'll be part of the band in a week!  
  
Announcer: Next up is Tidus' girlfriend, daughter of High Summoner Braska, and friend of the aeons, please welcome Yuna!  
  
Yuna: *flys into stadium on Valefor* I'll do my best!  
  
Announcer: Contestant number three has the aerodynamic hair and can really take a beating in blitzball! Captain of the Besaid Aurochs, Wakka!  
  
Wakka: *enters spinning blitzball on finger* This'll be a piece o' cake, ya?  
  
Announcer: And now the lady without patience, Voo Doo Extraordinare, and evil black mage, Lulu!  
  
Lulu: *appears in a burst of fire* When do we start?  
  
Announcer: Now the blue cat, the silent one, the one who gets picked on by his old friends, Kimarhi!  
  
Kimarhi: *walks in*…  
  
Announcer: Next in the line up is the dead guy, who people often couple up with Rikku, the supposedly one-handed guy, High Summoner Braska's Guardian, Auron!  
  
Auron: *walks in* I shall win!  
  
Announcer: And the excessively hyper one, who likes BOOMS, and likes using Tidus as a punching bag, the Al Bhed girl and crowd favorite, Rikku!  
  
Rikku: *runs into arena* Let's get this started!  
  
Announcer: And finally, our eighth quarter finalist, the yellow riding bird, Choco the Chocobo!  
  
Choco: *struts in*…  
  
Announcer: And there they are folks! I…Wait; our pairings are now in. Round one is Tidus vs Choco, Lulu vs Wakka, Kimarhi vs Rikku, Yuna vs Auron. Who shall win?  
  
*Round One: fight between Choco and Tidus*  
  
Choco: *pecks Tidus repeatedly on the head*  
  
Tidus: Owowowowow! *gets mad and kills Choco*  
  
Choco: Wark! (translation: Ouch!) *falls over*  
  
Announcer: Well... I guess that Tidus is the winner! However, Tidus, there's something you should know. Choco was Valefor's distant cousin.  
  
Valefor: *snarls at Tidus*  
  
Tidus: Eeep... Nice birdy thing...  
  
Valefor: *eats Tidus, then burps*  
  
Yuna: Bad Valefor! You shouldn't eat people.  
  
Announcer: Don't feel bad, Yuna. He dies at the end of the game anyway, so he'd only break your heart.  
  
Yuna: Oh, okay.  
  
*Round One: fight between Lulu and Wakka*  
  
Wakka: I am so dead…  
  
Lulu: How long did it take you to figure that one out? *doublecasts Ultima*  
  
Wakka: Ouch…*falls over dead*  
  
Lulu: Oops. *smiles evilly*  
  
*Round One: Rikku vs Kimarhi*  
  
Rikku: *runs over to Announcer and whispers in his ear*  
  
Announcer: Rikku has just announced that she will be going for the quickest fight ever in memory of the speedy Choco. That's so sweet…  
  
Crowd: Awwww……  
  
Rikku: *reaches into pouch, draws out grenade, and blows Kimarhi up*  
  
Announcer: Three seconds! A new record! Rikku wins!  
  
Rikku: That was for Choco!  
  
*Round One: Auron takes on Yuna*  
  
Announcer: Good thing Tidus isn't around to see this. Oh, is this on? Whoops! Anyway, this is a fight for the history books! Auron, High Summoner Braska's Guardian, takes on High Summoner Braska's daughter, Yuna. Get ready for an action packed match folks!  
  
Auron: Actually, it shan't be that long.  
  
Yuna: In honor of Tidus, I must win this fight!  
  
Auron: Yeah, right.  
  
Yuna: But you're my guardian, you're not allowed to fight me.  
  
Auron: Damn, she's right... *sees Yuna about to summon Ifrit* On second thought, forget the Guardian's code. *uses Shooting Star to send Yuna into orbit*  
  
Announcer: Well, there's not something you see every day... All right, the pairings for the next round are in. Auron vs. Lulu, and Rikku vs. no one.  
  
Mysterious Person: Wait! Rikku, I challenge you!  
  
Rikku: Who the heck are you?  
  
Mysterious Person: I am Graav, captain of the Luca Goers! Mwa ha!  
  
Wakka and Tidus: *they never got sent to the farplane, so they come back as fiends and smack Graav around for beating the Besaid Aurochs*  
  
Graav: Owie!  
  
Rikku: Hey Auron, Lulu, should I help?  
  
Lulu: It probably isn't the right thing to do, but ah well…  
  
Rikku: Alright. *helps Wakka and Tidus beat Graav up 'til he's dead*  
  
Announcer: Well, I guess Rikku wins that fight. She's heading to the finals! Next up, Auron and Lulu! But first, a word from our sponsors while our new summoner Dona performs a sending.  
  
Auron: I didn't think we had sponsors.  
  
Announcer: We don't? Ah, well, Dona, please proceed with your sending.  
  
Tidus and Wakka: *attack Dona because she took Yuna's place and kill her*  
  
Announcer: Alrighty then, we'll have to find someone else to perform the sending.  
  
Tidus: *miraculously is able to talk* Don't worry, Wakka and I are heading to the Farplane. We got revenge on everyone who we wanted to! We'll drag Graav and Dona with us. Choco and Kimarhi are coming with us too!  
  
Rikku: I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks Tidus! I forgive you for blowing my machina up too!  
  
Announcer: Alrightie! Auron, Lulu, begin!  
  
Auron: Bout time. *rushes at Lulu, about to slash her with another Shooting Star*  
  
Lulu: Time to die! *doublecasts Ultima again*  
  
Auron and Lulu: *both attacks hit at the same time so both fall down dead*  
  
Announcer: Ok, Auron and Lulu have killed each other off. This round is a stalemate, and Rikku automatically wins. What are you going to do with the prize money Rikku?  
  
Rikku: There's prize money?  
  
Announcer: Oops, wrong event. I mean, how does it feel to be champ?  
  
Rikku: Great! Except, really lonely.  
  
Announcer: You mean you're out of Phoenix Downs?  
  
Rikku: Yeah, Yuna had them all.  
  
Announcer: Oh well, we'll think of something by the next chapter.  
  
Rikku: That reminds me. What are we doing next?  
  
Announcer: Umm…..*shuffles through notecards* A cooking show starring you, Yuna, and Lulu.  
  
Rikku: Cool!  
  
AN: So there we go! What did ya think? Sorry if any Tidus fans are reading this. Sapphire Dragon and I don't like Tidus that much. I mean, why couldn't it be Auron's story? Of just Yuna's story? Or even better, Rikku's story? Why Tidus? He's worthless! If you agree with that, look for Sapphire Dragon's rants about the characters. Coming soon! 


	2. Cooking Show!

Announcer: I'm back from the FFX Tournament! Everyone has been brought back to life, for some strange reason, so we'll just see what's going on today! Welcome to…huh? Tidus's Cooking Show?  
  
Tidus: *walks out in dress, apron, high heels, and makeup* That's right. MY cooking show.  
  
Rikku: *beams grenade next to Tidus, then kicks him in the head* Show stealer! Look at the sign!  
  
Sign: Rikku, Lulu, and Yuna's Tidus's Cooking show  
  
Announcer: It says Tidus's Cooking Show.  
  
Rikku: *glares at Announcer* I can read. *grabs sign, crosses out Tidus's, and rewrites Rikku, Lulu, and Yuna's*  
  
Announcer: Can you do that?  
  
Rikku: If not I can now. Tidus, we said you would be a special guest, NOT the host.  
  
Tidus: Sorry.  
  
Rikku: Moron. Anyway, welcome to our show! Lulu, Yunie, come on out!  
  
Lulu and Yuna: *enter amid thunderous applause*  
  
Rikku: And our other special guest, Wakka!  
  
Wakka: I ain't no Al Bhed's special guest. I'm doing this for Yuna and Lu as a favor.  
  
Rikku: By coming here, you did me a favor.  
  
Wakka: Hmph!  
  
Rikku: Anyways, we have three pies here. Lulu, Yuna, if you would.  
  
Lulu, Rikku, and Yuna: *grab pies and place them on a table*  
  
Yuna: One.  
  
Lulu: Two.  
  
Rikku: Three! Okay, each of you can choose one pie. In one pie out of three, is an IOU from Graav, Luca Goers Captain, for 20 million Gil!  
  
Wakka: No way! All right, I choose pie one!  
  
Yuna: *hands Wakka pie one*  
  
Rikku: *to audience* Unbeknownst to Wakka, two of the pies hide special grenades I created for this occasion.  
  
Wakka: *begins to cut open pie when it explodes, taking Wakka with it*  
  
Lulu and Yuna: *stare openmouthed at tiny Wakka bits*  
  
Yuna: Oh dear, I don't think a Phoenix Down will help him now.  
  
Lulu: *points at other pieces* Look, the blitzball exploded too.  
  
Rikku: Sorry Wakka, you lost. Tidus, you're next. *grins evilly*  
  
Tidus: *is holding pie two* Umm…maybe I don't want to anymore…. *places pie back on table and walks off*  
  
Rikku: Too bad Tidus chocoboed out. Pie two held the IOU!  
  
Tidus: *runs back in* Really? Give me that pie! *grabs pie three, cuts it open, and blows up*  
  
Yuna: I don't think a Phoenix Down'll help Tidus either.  
  
Announcer: Ouch, that's gotta hurt!  
  
Rikku: Wrong pie stupid!  
  
Auron: *walks in* A pie? Ah, Rikku. And Yuna and Lulu. Is anyone eating this pie?  
  
Rikku: Go right ahead.  
  
Auron: *cuts open pie, and pulls out IOU* What's this?  
  
Yuna: Congratulations Sir Auron!  
  
Rikku: Yunie, you're not explaining right! Auron, you just won 20 million Gil!  
  
Auron: *completely out of character* I did? Woohoo! In your face losers! I'm headin to Vegas! You're too young to gamble!  
  
Rikku: Do they let the dead gamble Auron?  
  
Auron: Shhh!!!! That's hardly common knowledge is it? ~*~ quote from Princess Bride ~*~  
  
Announcer: Actually, I announced it back at the Tournament.  
  
Auron: Oh. Ah well, later! *runs offstage*  
  
Lulu: Rikku, you have competition for complete randomness. ~*~ quote from RoT ~*~  
  
Announcer: OK, we'll just raise Tidus and Wakka, and move on to our next show. Singing contests! Guest starring Sin! Along with Maester Seymour! 


End file.
